Unfortunately, not everything is smiles, laughter and fun…

“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”

 Homesickness is a bitch. It can hit you at anytime, no matter where you are. You could be doing the most amazing thing that you’ve ever done and all of a sudden you juts feel like shit. Homesickness has now hit me twice, once at day 42, and once at day 69. I’m now at day 82 so I’m not too worried about that… 2/82 days of feeling sad isn’t too bad..

I've heard that homesickness hits everyone differently. For me, it makes me feel incredibly bad for a day or two and by the time the third day comes I feel completely better... So far every time I wake up I'm happier than I've been in weeks for what seems like no apparent reason. Now, I think it's probably because I go from feeling so shit, back to feeling normal, it just seems a lot better...

Just because it's only one day, doesn't mean it's any easier. Last time I was out with my host sister and her friends. I'd just come home from a camp with other exchange students where I didn't speak any German so what I knew before the camp, I'd forgotten. I was hearing people speak German everywhere, all night, and I couldn't understand it anymore. All I was thinking was "I don't belong here". The next morning wasn't much better... We got home and I went to my room. I didn't want to see anyone, seeing people made me feel worse. I felt like I don't belong for multiple reasons- for one, the language, and two, all of the girls here have such beautiful figures and here I am, just me... Just plain old me. Most of the time this doesn't get to me, but when I'm feeling homesick it's one of those things...

The one thing that I want to do when I'm home sick is talk to someone... Mostly my mum. She's the one that I always talk to when I'm not feeling good. She's the one person that I'd trust with my life. I love her, more than anything. 

If it wasn't for these few horrible days, this would be the most exciting time of my life. I dread homesickness... I always find myself trying to do something so I don't get the chance to feel homesick. I do love being here, this year is amazing... but homesickness is a bitch!